Breaking News: Mothers Want Changes to Football
Pressure has been put on the government this week to try to make football matches more suitable for children to watch. Recently, it has been noticed that bad language and violence, caught on camera for TV audiences, has become much more widespread.
Member of the group Mothers Object to Football Offensiveness (MOFO) presented a petition to Parliament on Thursday asking for tighter controls over the content of football broadcasts. A spokesman unveiled some of their requests. "We would like to see more disciplinary action for a footballer swearing or fighting during the course of a match. There are a number of options. If red cards don't work, then multiple match suspensions may help. If not, community service, short prison sentences or compulsory military service may let these men know we are serious." It has also been suggested that the police and security services should have the power to arrest anyone suspected of being a footballer in possession of bad language, and held without charge until they swear their innocence and give themselves away.
Another member, Ms. Tricia Humbrage, claimed, "it is easy to think bad language is just words, but it is much more than that. In many cases, it is lead poisoning, chip-pan fires, advanced cases of malaria or legions of killer rats with sharp pointy fangs." Ms. Humbrage then showed Breaking News a photograph of a fang sticking into the head of a small child. "Is this what we want to expose our children to?"
The FA has responded quickly. Steven Guttersnipe, speaking on behalf the FA Board said, "we fully understand the concerns of the parents in this situation, and though we acknowledge that these problems are inevitable in the heated arena of a football match, we are hoping to strike some form of compromise. We are especially interested in hearing from football fans, who we find are often not keen to venture their opinion about what they are watching and how they would improve football if they were in charge."
The BBFC, a broadcasting standards and censorship board, has got behind the ideas of MOFO. In an official statement, they welcomed the ideas of banning all bad language and violence in football matches. Of course, if these measures were to be implemented, then they would not apply to the second half of weekday evening games, which is after the traditional watershed of 9pm, when all children go to bed to watch films and listen to rap music. They also discussed measures to introduce age-ratings on football matches, based on the expected level of offensiveness. Under current rules, most matches would automatically be assigned an 18 certificate. Concerns over these measures have been voiced by England's schoolboy team, who would not be allowed to watch their own matches. The Board is also considering an automatic ban on Millwall, who would be immediately cut from the Championship and replaced with a picture of Michael Flatterly, a Lord of the Dance.
Of course, the best result would be achieved if a different attitude were taken by all those involved with football. Viewers of the BBC's Match of the Day were shocked at the last Manchester United-Arsenal match when Alex Ferguson was caught punching rival manager Arsene Wenger repeatedly in the kidneys, after the latter had made a comment about Ferguson's fat mother.
Member of the group Mothers Object to Football Offensiveness (MOFO) presented a petition to Parliament on Thursday asking for tighter controls over the content of football broadcasts. A spokesman unveiled some of their requests. "We would like to see more disciplinary action for a footballer swearing or fighting during the course of a match. There are a number of options. If red cards don't work, then multiple match suspensions may help. If not, community service, short prison sentences or compulsory military service may let these men know we are serious." It has also been suggested that the police and security services should have the power to arrest anyone suspected of being a footballer in possession of bad language, and held without charge until they swear their innocence and give themselves away.
Another member, Ms. Tricia Humbrage, claimed, "it is easy to think bad language is just words, but it is much more than that. In many cases, it is lead poisoning, chip-pan fires, advanced cases of malaria or legions of killer rats with sharp pointy fangs." Ms. Humbrage then showed Breaking News a photograph of a fang sticking into the head of a small child. "Is this what we want to expose our children to?"
The FA has responded quickly. Steven Guttersnipe, speaking on behalf the FA Board said, "we fully understand the concerns of the parents in this situation, and though we acknowledge that these problems are inevitable in the heated arena of a football match, we are hoping to strike some form of compromise. We are especially interested in hearing from football fans, who we find are often not keen to venture their opinion about what they are watching and how they would improve football if they were in charge."
The BBFC, a broadcasting standards and censorship board, has got behind the ideas of MOFO. In an official statement, they welcomed the ideas of banning all bad language and violence in football matches. Of course, if these measures were to be implemented, then they would not apply to the second half of weekday evening games, which is after the traditional watershed of 9pm, when all children go to bed to watch films and listen to rap music. They also discussed measures to introduce age-ratings on football matches, based on the expected level of offensiveness. Under current rules, most matches would automatically be assigned an 18 certificate. Concerns over these measures have been voiced by England's schoolboy team, who would not be allowed to watch their own matches. The Board is also considering an automatic ban on Millwall, who would be immediately cut from the Championship and replaced with a picture of Michael Flatterly, a Lord of the Dance.
Of course, the best result would be achieved if a different attitude were taken by all those involved with football. Viewers of the BBC's Match of the Day were shocked at the last Manchester United-Arsenal match when Alex Ferguson was caught punching rival manager Arsene Wenger repeatedly in the kidneys, after the latter had made a comment about Ferguson's fat mother.
