Breaking News: Israel Adopts Policy Of 'Discriminatory Murder' 

Following yesterday's conviction of former Israeli soldier Taysir Hayb for the manslaughter of British student Tom Hurndall, the Israeli army has announced a major shake-up in its rules of engagement. Troops are now only to shoot at civilians if they're absolutely sure that they aren't westerners.

The policy, like a new-born Palestinian baby, has already come under fire from front-line troops. Commented one soldier, Sergeant Yaaron Segev, "How are we to know which country they're from? It's not like we can go up to them and check their passports. Not the way our guys pick their targets."

In spite of this criticism, the new approach seems to have been working so far. Unfavourable press coverage has been drastically reduced, even though six cars, two buses, one school and a short sighted, arthritic camel named Hubert were shot up in the first hour.

"Make no mistake," said one soldier who wished to remain nameless, "that camel was one vicious bastard. It was one of them suicide camels, trained to walk right up to your patrol and spit right at you. And yes, I think we were quite justified in calling in the F-16s to make sure it was dead."

The move shows that in their war on terror, the Israeli government is not content to battle only for the hearts and minds of the Palestinian people, but wants their lungs, spleens, intestines and other assorted giblets as well.