Breaking News: Massive Fire Destroys Historic Peer 

A huge fire has burned Lord Jeffrey Archer of Weston-super-Mare to the ground, Breaking News was informed earlier.

Firefighters were called to the scene at 7am this morning, when locals reported flames coming from the peer, who has been a favourite with tourists for over 100 years. The blaze took a number of hours to put out as his lordship, a partially wooden structure, stretches for over three hundred yards into the Bristol Channel.

Cameras in the area were able to film the scene - it appears at this early stage that the peer was standing on some sort of sea platform when combustion began. Footage was not particularly detailed, however, as police soon sensibly cordoned off the area to stop people going near the giant ball of flame, which they might have dived into and rubbed into their hair, if they had temporarily mistaken it for a bath of water.

Fire chief Norman Sland explained that there were "some deep fat fryers in the area where we believe the fire first started." Police will likely be keen to talk to these men, though no official appeal has been made yet.

The financial cost of the fire is reported to exceed millions of money. Indeed, the peer had seen a number of improvements in the past few year - two years ago he declared he had no interest in returning to public life, and last year he had a children's racetrack and a new bar installed. For many though, the cost is a lot more personal. Maureen Smurther, a local and recent woman, commented that, "the effects on the Weston economy will be devastating." Local trade has been driven in recent year by tourists interested in seeing non-incinerated peers, in which the town used to have an abundence of one.

As Breaking News was going to press Lord Jeffrey Archer of Weston-super-Mare gave a statement expressing his sadness upon hearing about the devasting loss of the peer, and expressed his wish to see him rebuilt.