It has been a long, uneventful night for Officer Hugh Jazz. He was just about to sleep on the job when a sleek silver Porsche flew in front of him in an ungodly speed. Hungry for action like a vegetable steamer waiting on a kitchen benchtop, Officer Jazz chased after the speeding car and demanded for it to pull over. When it complied, Officer Jazz approached the car casually. He leaned on the door and peered at the lady driving.
“Young lady,” Officer Jazz said slowly. “I have been waiting for you for a long, long time.”
The driver quickly answered, speaking fast, “I’m so sorry, Officer. I got here as fast as I could!”
Officer Jazz raised an eyebrow and gave a big laugh. “Do you want to try that again?” he asked.
Tears started streaming down the lady’s eyes. “Officer, I’m not thinking right. You see, I’m in a big hurry because I’m escaping a murder. It was horrific!”
“A murder?!” Officer Jazz stood straight. His night was just about to get a lot more interesting. “Are you the witness to the murder? Do you know the victim?”
The lady cried harder, her words barely audible now. “No, Officer. I’m the murderer!”
Surprised, Officer Jazz took a step back. “Show me your licence!” he demands.
“I don’t have a licence, Sir.”
“Then show me the registration papers of this car,” Officer Jazz commands, his voice getting slightly louder.
“I don’t have them either, Sir. I just stole this car,” the lady revealed. At this point, Officer Jazz is already starting to get frustrated.
“Why are you just telling me all of these freely?” he asked.
“I don’t know, Sir. I’m just really truthful when I’m drunk,” the lady replied.
Officer Jazz commanded her to get out of the car as he’s going to search it. The lady refused saying she’s afraid he’ll find the chopped up body in her trunk. Officer Jazz tells her not to move as he calls for back-up. Not long after, a bunch of other officers search her car and makes her blow into a Breathalyzer.
“Ma’am,” one of them comes up to her and said, “Officer Jazz informed us that you’ve just admitted to a murder and left the body in your trunk, that you’re driving drunk AND without a licence, and are operating a stolen vehicle. But you’re able to provide us with all necessary paperwork to prove otherwise.”
“Yeah,” the lady sneered. “I bet that crazy liar also told you I was over speeding, huh?”